Thursday, July 24, 2008

Thankful Thursday

Psalm 9:1
I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart;
I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.

My dear friend Tina did thankful Thursday last week on her blog, I found it inspiring so I thought I would give it a try. For me being thankful starts with learning to be content. If you are always wanting more you can never just sit back and be happy with what you have. On The Daily Wisdom on the radio the other day they were talking about Being happy with what you have. And it really made sense to me. I have been trying to teach this concept to my kids.

This time of year is especially hard for me. It is the happiness of Joe's and Matthew's birthday, mixed with the sadness that Matthew's not here. And then the anniversary of Matthew death.... 9 years!!! I can hardly believe it. I thank God that he has carried me for 9 years. I thank Him for all of the blessings that has came out of Matthew's death. The people that have came to know Him because of one tiny little boy, the changes and growth that has taken place in Chris and I, and so much more.

I remember the day when God taught me about Thankfulness. Joseph had been in the NICU for about 6 weeks and he was struggling and I was weary. I need a break and was sitting out in the lobby eating a twix candy bar. The triage for L&D was there and a mom was checking in to have her baby and I was so jealous. In my head I was screaming "why God...Why does she get to have a perfect labor and delivery and healthy baby, and my son dies and my other son is struggling to live????" These feelings were pretty common for me at the time. And then the next day I walked into the NICU and there she was crying at her baby's bedside. What had I done? Her baby got stuck in the birth canal and had to be vacuumed and suffered severe brain damage and would never be normal. Never drink from a bottle, never walk, never talk. It taught me to appreciate what I had, one child in heaven and one on earth. Contentment and Thankfulness, praise God for what he has given me!