Friday, September 5, 2008

WE HAVE BEEN VANDELIZED!








It happened so quick...we feel so helpless...

The vandal struck somewhere between the wee hours of 8:12 pm and 8:16 pm. The smell of the permanent marker still wafts in the room.

Ironically, my wife and I were watching the Cosby Show when the perpetrator struck our kitchen with such hatred and vengeance. We are still shaking.

She was like a torrent of rage. Filled with the terrifying fires of anger and desperation. Her eyes swirling with the emptiness of hard crime and spoiled milk.

From the varying accounts of the low-life's escape, we have pulled together this brief description.

Sex: Female
Height: 2' 8"
Weight: 23lbs 7oz (give or take an ounce)
Hair: brown, straight. Somewhat messy with peanut butter
Clothing: Last seen wearing snow man pajamas
Aliases: Carlsbad, Boo, Thunderbootie or NightHawk Ninja.

She was last seen stumbling around the living room, talking in incoherent jibberish. Possibly intoxicated or on some kind of hallucinogenic pacifier trip.

IF YOU SEE HER. KEEP YOUR DISTANCE. SHE IS AN OUTLAW. A SCOUNDREL. A VICIOUS DESPERADO WITH NO RESERVATION TO HURT AND MAME. LIVING ONLY TO DRINK THE NECTAR OF SWEET LAWLESSNESS.

Be warned.



(Thanks to our friends at Dawn Laboratories, Laura was able to remove the graffiti with a little elbow grease and a healthy dose of Dawn Power Dissolver. We highly recommend it.)

4 comments:

Nicole said...

I see Carly got a hold of a marker! Oh no! This post made me laugh...although I feel awful for your walls and floor! Hope all is well...see you at grandmas for homemade ice cream on sunday?

Anonymous said...

Cool...Carly's cool.
Send her to jail in KY.

Baby be Blessed said...

Laura!!
Oh my gosh!! I literally gasped! Look at that little stinker smile!! Reminded me of when you told me of the boys doing the same thing (but worse) in red permanent marker. If I need any marker removal tips...I'll call ya!! Chris your post was just the cutest!! ~Tina

ASHLEY said...

She deserves the cutest criminal award!!!!!